Pain & Privilege

Mason has been sick this week. His first ear infection--and really his first sickness beyond a few sniffles. The poor guy has fallen asleep on my lap more times in the last couple days than in the last six months combined! (Although I hate that he's sick, I am thoroughly enjoying the cuddling.) I'm thankful that this afternoon he has taken a huge turn for the better, and he's toddling around again.

Over the last couple days while Mason hasn't been well, I've been noticing something about being a mom. There have been several times that I have cleared my throat or coughed, hoping that it would clear Mason's throat. Or I've found myself taking a deep breath, hoping it will help him catch his breath after a bout of coughing. As moms, I think it's just innate that we want to fix things for our kids. And it's painful not to be able to do that, even when he just has a minor ear infection. I think of other parents I know or have read about and wonder how they can even handle the ongoing illness or the loss of a child. So I've been thinking about the pain of being a mom, a pain that will never go away as long as the world isn't perfect for our kids.

On the other hand, I've been noticing something else too. As Mason has needed his mommy to cuddle him, I've loved to be the one to comfort him. And I've thought of the privilege it is to be the one (along with Brent) to be chosen to love Mason. As his mom, I get the gift of knowing him better than anyone else. I wouldn't be anywhere else!

So that's my musing for the day, the pain and privilege of being a mom. I guess that's what happens when you love someone so deeply. (I know other moms--and dads--can relate!) I'm so thankful for the gift of Mason and the role of being a mommy to our boy. It's a high calling and a great honor!